aNothEr STUPIDITY of mine,,,, :((

Today, i woke up and realize that i've missed ur birthday on the last December 18. So, I decided to send u a message. I don't know Why it took me long enough to think over bout the words i should use. So, i wrote u a message,,

the simple one,,"HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!! :)

I don't know where i can get the nerve to send u the message AGAIN. Of course, I have this regret burdening me,, I kept thinking bout those silly imagination of yours, kept thinking whether u still remember my number or not, kept thinking what response will u give me, and all the stupid things i can imagine. :((

And finally, i realized that it took u an hour to respond my message,,, i don't know for sure whether u took ur time to recognize my number or not too soon to reply it. Just a simple answer that u gave but really made me feel the butterfly in my stomach. What's so special bout; "HAHAHAH,,,,TENGKYUUUUU MAWAREEEE!! :)"

Well, I'm glad to know that u r still remember me... but i decided not to send u any other replies cos i don't want to have any further communication with u... not because i hate u but i will hate myself even worse that u can ever imagined.

So, sorry for throwing u aside of me cos it kills me just to see u out there.

I wish u know that ur simple answer can ruin whole self defense i've built years ago.. just through ur simple reply...

I definitely sure that u know how I feel for u yet u can do NOTHING otherwise being so ignorant... I just want to tell u that it hurts me so bad,,, I"d prefer to get yelled rather than to get ignored...

This is what happened every time i got this WRONG nerve around me,,, such called STUPIDITY,,, i really wanna scream out loud just to relief my burden inside,,,,

HUUUUUU,,,I SHOULDN'T HAVE SENT U ANY MESSAGE,,

_Maware_

My bestfriend's wedding

Wooooowwww,,,,,

Today....December 18th,2009...my best friend, Vie, finally gets married. I feel so happy for her happiness,,which is also filled with green as the wedding theme...

I know that she's been dreaming of this day to come to her life.

I know that this man whom she got married into is all she ever wanted to be hers.

I know that all the suffer she got lately gives her strength to have this precious day.

I know that all of her time, thoughts, effort and pray are worth to wait until GOD answer her prayers.

what a weird couple they are!!!! :))

I have all the supporting ideas for the above statement which I can't tell you,,,hihihi

but somehow,,I am AMAZED of what they are achieving today..

all I can say is I am sooooooo Happy for u both and wish u a wonderful,long lasting marriage and happily ever after of course,,,

Notes: thank GOD you did NOT take a bath this morning otherwise we will get wet just because of you,,,hohohoho ^_^

I finally founD u,,

I finally found u,,,,

after a long journey of nowhere,,,

at least,,all my prayers has been answered through this way,,

after destiny fools US many times,,,

I finally found u and say what i want to say

another thanking words to show how thankful I am to have u in the past

another apology words to show how sorry I am to play around u all the time in the past

I finally found u and found out that it's all in the past

and nothing's matter now cos it's not a big deal anymore

Not a big deal for YOU anymore...

I finally found u and see how life's changed you

you are not the one who i thought you were

you are NO longer have ME in your heart

I finally found u and feels like a fool

To believe that you are priceless

To believe that it's all worth to wait

I finally found u and realize something

You have moved on with ur life but I haven't

I finally found u and sing

"Damn boy,,U stole my heart and made me kicked it aside,,

"No boy,,U can't see,,when she's aside u,,No, there's NO room for ME"

I finally found u and think

You can forgive me but

You can't let me even as ur friend

I finally found u and see

How ignorant you are now

How silly I am to still think about you

How fool I am to not knowing who you are now

I finally found u and believe

You just like the other guys

You can't see ME even if I'm standing right in front of U

I finally found u and admit

You have your life and

There's NO me......

uggggggggggggghhh,I SHOULD HAVE NOTICED THIS YEARS AGO,,,,,,huffffffffffffffffffffff

Little Raihan,,,

Aku sudah mengenal dan mempelajari karakter gadis cilik ini sejak Ia masih duduk dibangku kelas 1 SD

Ia adalah Raihan Putri,,

Anak perempuan yang biasa dipanggil Raihan ini adalah salah satu muridku,,

Ia anak yang pintar walaupun agak cengeng,,,,maklum masih kecil...

Ia amat manis dan benar2 cilik,,,hihihi

Ia pendiam dan juga pemalu,,,

ketika ia belum mengerti materi pelajaran yg aku berikan,,

Ia pasti maju kedepan lalu berdiri disampingku dan berbisik pelan2 tentang hal yang belum ia pahami,,,

Tulisannya pun paling rapih dan indah diantara teman2nya yang lain,,

Pernah suatu hari saat aku mengajar dikelasnya,Ia tiba2 menangis histeris,,

Awalnya aku kaget tetapi setelah mengetahui alasannya menangis aku jadi merasa geli sendiri,,

Ia menangis karena belum menyelesaikan tugasnya dan merasa tertinggal dari temannya yang lain,, namun setelah aku bilang akan menungguiya sampai selesai,,Ia pun berhenti menangis dan kembali melanjutkan tugasnya,,

aku sangat bangga atas prestasinya di semester 1 tahun lalu,,,

Ia mampu menjawab soal2 ujian dengan baik dibandingkan dengan teman2 sekelasnya,,

Tak heran Ia menjadi juara kelas,,,

Aku pun semangat jika Ia berada dikelas apalagi bisa melihatnya tersenyum,,

Namun,,saat pertengahan semester 2 berlangsung,,

Raihan kecil jarang masuk sekolah,,awalnya aku dan guru2 yang lain mengira Ia terserang panas

Ada kabar juga bahwa Ia terserang tipes,,,

Kemudian datanglah berita dari orangtua raihan yang mengabarkan bahwa Ia terserang penyakit serius yang membutuhkan penelitian kesehatan lebih lanjut,,

Selama berbulan-bulan,, Ia tidak masuk sekolah karena penyakitnya

Ternyata Ia dirawat di rumahsakit dan telah di diagnosis Leukimia,,,

Semua pun kaget dan sedih mendengarnya,,

Saat menjenguknya pun,,Ia telihat sangat amat kurus..

Yang membuat kami lebih sedih lagi adalah tangisan dan rengekan-nya,,

Ia ingin sekali kembali ke sekolah,,belajar dan bertemu teman2-nya,,

Ia ingin kembali menjadi juara kelas,,

namun sisa akhir ajaran itu hanya bisa dihabiskan di rumah sakit

begitupun ujian akhir semesternya,,

nilainya pun merosot menjadi peringkat 3 dikelasnya,,

Dikelas dua saat ini,,

Alhamdulillah,,Ia masih bisa belajar walaupun masih tergantung dgn obat2an dan juga kondisi stamina-nya,,,

Ia kembali masuk sekolah disemester ini dengan memakai masker,,,karena tubuhnya harus meminimalisir debu yang bertebaran disekitarnya

Ia merasa malu tapi setelah di semangati oleh para guru dan kawan2nya,, ia merasa lebih baik

ketika kondisinya menurun dan tidak bisa masuk sekolah,,

Ibunya dengan sabar datang kesekolah untuk meminta materi pelajaran hari itu sekaligus meminta PR bagi anaknya,,

Ia pun menuturkan bahwa anaknya tersebut tak henti2nya merengek untuk sekolah,,

Karenanya,,ini adalah salah satu upaya agarRaihan merasa terhibur,,

Berada dirumah membuat Raihan kecil jenuh,,,

namun bukannya beristirahat,,ia justru memilh belajar dan mengerjakan tugas yang sdah diambil oleh Ibunya dr sekolah,,,

Subhanallah,,,,betapa semangatnya Raihan diantara keterbatasannya,,,

aku hanya bisa berdoa semoga Ia tetap diberi kesehatan n keceriaan tiada batas,,,

Karena semua sayang raihan

Luv u little Rai',,, ^0^

cenTil,,

Hari pertama masuk kelas satu setelah ditinggal libur awal puasa,,,,

huiiiiihh,ramainya anak-anak quw :)

setiap masuk kelas pasti ja da hal2 yg unbelievable dan trkadang mbutuhkan byak kesabaran (bneran byak lhoo) wlaupun kadang byak klepasan emosinya,,hihihi

sprti kejadian hari ini,,,

anak2 sdh dpat tugas latihan menulis macam2 ucapan salam dlm B.Inggris,, smua berebut minta perhatian dgn panggilan yg tiada henti sampai aq dtang menghampiri hanya untuk melihat tulisan mereka satu persatu.

Saat aq berkeli2ng kelas,, memonitor pekerjaan mereka,,

Putri bertanya " Bu guru, kan klo masih kecil ga boleh centil ya bu??"

Aq mjawab" ga boleh dong,,klo masih kecil bolehnya belajar."

Lalu dia bertanya lagi" klo sdah smp bleh ga bu??"

Aq te2p mjawab "belum boleh sayang."

menyadari akan "wajah bertanya tiada henti" dari Putri,, aq memutuskan utk lgsung berjalan ke arah anak yg lain menghindari pertanyaan aneh berikutnya,, Namun tak melepaskan pendengaran atas percakapan mereka berdua.

Putri yang rupanya sudah ribut dengan Rani tentang teori centil-centilan ini langsung menegaskan, "Tuh kan, kata bu guru qta masih kecil,, jadi ga boleh centil." "qmu siyh suka centil" "kata bu guru,sdh smp ja blm boleh centil tahu!!"

Rani yg tidak mau disalahkan balik bertanya,"Trus qta boleh centilnya kapan dong??"

Putri yang ditanya malah bingung "ngga tahu deyh."

sedangkan Rani,,setelah berpikir sejenak,, dengan tegasnya menjawab kebingungan mereka berdua dgn jawaban yg diluar dugaan, "Aq tahu,pasti klo qta dah kuliah bleh centil,,,pasti dehh"

Putri pun yg tadi berkonflik mulut dengan Rani mengangguk setuju dan mengiyakan,"iya juga yah. qta tggu ja smpe qta kuliah."

can I make it through this RaiN???

Life never runs smoothly,,, including me,,, I need to struggle in my own position,,,

Well,being a teacher is not as simple as I thought it were especially as the temporary status teacher like mine. So many troubles facing me ahead... such as.. different gap with the seniors.. unfairness condition.. surrounded by many backstabbers..GOSH..so hard to trust someone...

I try to be myself and be nice to everyone so that I'll get the GOOD karma in my future. But it seems like everyone misjudged me, underestimate the things I did, and even worse take advantage of things I did. Truly, I have never had someone to be satisfied with my work or at least say "Good job" to encourage me... how poor I am,,ha??

The worst truth of my job is knowing your teacher much more than i should have,,,

The one whom I supposed to respect may changed into the one whom I disrespect for misjudging me, underestimating me and taking advantage of me..

See this great treatments that I had,,,

*This first teacher is my elementary teacher,,why I'm starting to feel disrespect,,she asked my school principal for not raising my salary in balancing with the older English teacher. She said that I'm still single and have no one to be taking care of. come on,, what is the price of my educational background and my capabilities,,,

More...She often show me her unfriendly face and become so suspicious with all the things I have... Hell yeah,,,I'm getting tired to face her around..

*This second teacher is also the temporary status teacher but the thing that makes me feel so horrible to face her is her bad attitude,,, come on,, she only thinks about her own and ignore others who also have the same rights,,,us. She's nothing but trouble and more,,she's such a real life example of Great Backstabber in my life. I'll have to be more careful otherwise she'll stab my back,, huiiiiiiiiiiiiih..

Several are still on my lists but this is more than enough to show you how life can never run smooth as well as u've planned before. but still, I keep my faith to show them that I can be a great survivor of their bad treatment...

Wish all the GOOD karma comes as soon as the jet-plane goes,, so be it,, may it be true,,

_AMIN_

husH...husH,,,husH

another empty feeling of mine,,,

have nothing to think....

have nothing to talk...

have nothing to share...

have nothing to do....

just five letters needed E M P T Y

wHen realitY comes...

Lebaran day has over and when i got back to school I’ve found out that one of my students died. It happened before Lebaran. Sad and shocked to hear the news. This was his first year in Elementary school. He was chubby and sweet. He sat on the front row and that makes me feel losing him.

Badly, this is the second time I have to see this fact. Last year, I lost one of my best students because of kidney problems. He was smart, clean and tidy. His handwriting was beautiful even though he was a boy. He was curious and kept asking me simple ad sometimes silly questions.

What a great lost seeing two of my students passed away. It is painful and i know exactly how does it feel since i have lost someone who is really important in my life forever. I hope they can rest peacefully. So be it.

The next thing that makes me sad was to see my students sold their voice on the road, from public transportation and stuffs. It hurts to see them suffering from this live in order to earn money for foods. The worst thing was their mother just sat aside the road to wait for their children sold their voice. How cruel life can be for those children. Beg for people’s kindness to give them few coins. They should have studied at home rather than being around the traffics till late at night.

I saw a second grade student walk in the middle of the traffics to get few coins from people around and it was 11 p.m. He was wearing his dirty school uniform. It means that he gets on the road after school around 5 p.m. He looked so tired and felt sleepy, it was hard for him to open his eyes since it was already late for children around his age. I felt so sorry and sad for him. when i got little bit closer to him, he realized i was there and the next thing i knew he ran as fast as he could so that i couldn’t see him that night.

The next day i saw him at school, he was very very shy and afraid to see my eyes. All i can do was just asking his homework softly while caressing his shoulder to encourage him to study more often.

How cruel life can be when the reality comes. I learn that life is not as simple as we wish if we do not stand on our feet. So, do not count one hundred percent to others. It’s your life and you have to decide what you are going to do. And whether you have money or not, please do not use your children or any children somewhere else to be your bank asset where you can withdraw money anytime you want. Our future is in their hands so let them free to play and study to be better and to live better in the future than you are now.

sHe was....

I have many friends but I only have four closest friends who know me inside and out. I can’t tell someone easily bout my problems.

The matter is I felt totally shocked when one of my very best friend disappeared. It happened last year when she definitely refused my thousand calls and messages. She just left and gave me nothing than worries and questions.

The last time we’ve talked, I was mad at her for not telling me her condition and also not knowing mine. We often misunderstood since she never call or even reply my messages. I know that she is busy but for not having time to reply my messages. Come on???

What did i do wrong?

Am I the worst friend ever that makes her left me behind?

Am I wrong to worry bout her condition?

I trust her so bad but she left me and throw my name from her friend list.

She blocked all the way that allows us to see one to each other.

I just don’t know her anymore. She has totally changed into someone that I’ve never imagined before.

Is this what best friend does? of course not. It convinces me that I was wrong to trust her and I am the only one who thinks that she is my best friend but she doesn’t.

So sad but what can I do?

Hopefully, she is fine out there and able to find many-many best friends who are much better than me.

Nothing hurts than having a best friend who prefers to choose her boyfriend than her best friend.

And nothing worse than having no best friends around you.

So, maintain your communication not only with your family but also with your best friends.

guiLty in cHarge

It’s happening. I see one of the most weirdo person to cry and be yelled by someone for her bad attitude. Please, I’m so sorry to say this but guys, i feel so damn happy for that.

Yeah its definitely worth it since she has given me many difficulties and mocked around me behind my back so here’s the time. Time for her to realize that what she did was wrong and her attitude is totally horrible.

It doesn’t come from me but from the eldest who seems to be hurt by her.

so beware of your attitude. is it good or the opposite one???

Well, guilty in charge to feel happy for your enemies’ worst day….Ho222.

iT takes Five..

Yeah, it only takes five minutes…..

Five minutes that was really really changed my live….

Five minutes that reveals secret which had been hidden for a long long time ago

Five minutes that I must admit it happened whether I like it or not

Five minutes that really broke my heart to pieces

Five minutes that makes me loose my thoughts

Five minutes that makes me feel so selfish

Five minutes to realize that I am too little to know this

and Five minutes that vanish my feelings of trustworthiness.

STOP pretending!!!!!

I really hate to be in this condition but others keep trying to pretend that everything is okay while the fact is totally horrible.

STOP PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND AND BE A NICE PERSON WHILE ON THE OTHER HAND YOU BECOME REALLY BAD BACK STABBER WHO SPREADS VIRUSES ALL OVER ME …..

I can hardly understand why it is harder to be friends than foes.

I can easily recognize those who seem to be real back stabbers and always miss judging me with their GREAT thoughts.

Come on people, just deal with it, I am opened for any critics so why don’t you talk to me and ask me directly. it ’s much much much and much better than complaining and arguing behind my back.
Notes; why don’t you just try to look at yourself in front of a mirror and feel yourself first and then try to realize whether you have becoming someone’s back stabber or not.

I wondEr,,

My friends keep asking who is my boyfriend but i can’t tell them since i have none. I don’t know why but it is hard for me to fall into someone and when i finally fell in love, i kept thinking bout that man again and again even i already knew that he wasn’t mine. That’s totally bad.

Actually, I remember most people who have come into my life but they don’t. No one truly recognizes or even realizes that i am exist except my family and my best friends.I have good memory bout people who has come into my life and that influence my mind bout man that can really really touch my heart whether from his bad point or even the good one. The more i try to forget his shadow, the stronger feelings i have inside. The more i try to erase him, the more clear i can see his face and draw in my heart. but still i wonder…

a man who can really see me, only me, deeply than everyone around me.

a man who can fill my world with wonderful things i can’t imagine before.

a man who can truly guide, protect and support me all the time.

a man who has courage to walk or stand beside me among his best friends.

a man who makes me smile or even scared when he stared at me deeply.

a man who can stand on his own feet and knows his responsibility.

Is there a man who is truly described above? I’m just wondering can i find such criteria in my future soul mate. yeah, we’ll see friends the moment which allows me to introduce my soul mate to you all.so, i just need to start looking around, ho3………

Life oh liFe

Life is totally about making choices. It’s about how you decide what you’re going to choose among choices you’ve got even badly no choices available.

Life is totally about making steps. It’s about how you run your life from choices you have made by taking step to step to be better than you are now.

Life is totally about struggling. It’s about how you should fight for your own rights and defense from other’s prejudice.

Life is totally about learning. It’s about how far you can learn from your own mistakes and make them to be your most valuable guidance book of life.

Life is totally about proving. It’s about how you proof the world things that you can do best so that none will underestimate you no more.

Life is totally about changing. It’s about changes that comes in or unintentionally cos people obviously changed from time to time and it influenced by personality, life experience, environment and stuffs.

Life is totally about planning. It’s about how you set your own goals for your life to motivate and guide you to reach them.

Life is about believing. It’s about self believing that you can do anything to reach your goal of life and never let one little thing put you down.

Life is about evaluating. It’s about win or lose, success or fail, all final ending that you’ve got. It’s important for us to realize that we should and must do our best for better life but still GOD rules whether it is good or not for us.

That’s why life oh life…

What do you think??

definiteLy TriE

Welcome to the world full of TriE’s drama….

I am just an ordinary girl which means normal, able to think and totally exist in this world.

Check out my real descriptions below, will u…

• I’m the youngest in my family
• I’m single and that’s for sure
• I want to have lots and lots of friends
• I hate to be alone
• I like to write my stories
• I like to read
• I like to hear music
• I like to watch Asian series
• I love to see everyone nears me happy
• I’m a good listener
• I’m open for any critics that empowered me
• I’m perfectionist and that’s killing me
• And I’m exist ….

Those are sort of me. Want to know me more and more

So, follow me through my drama stories

Enjoy the drama of my life….

d’ Lovely triE